The 10D10 Interview Challenge

#8 – Patrick Freivald, author, beekeeper

I had been friends with Patrick on Facebook for years when I looked over from my comfortable folding chair at the Scares that Care convention last year and thought to myself… “I think I have a restraining order against that guy.”

I was right. There, RIGHT there, was Patrick Freivald, man, myth, writer of horror books, teacher of physics, and keeper of bees. Turned out to be a really cool weekend as we could shoot the shit inbetween talking to people, meeting fans, and doing lines of coke off of cosplayer’s asses.

Ah, the memories.

Patrick’s rolls for this interview were; 9, 1, 4, 8, 9, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3

And with that, let us commence!

1. Is a hot dog a sandwich?

One of my favorite jokes is a question and answer.

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have? Four.

It really doesn’t matter whether or not any given person decides that a hot dog does or doesn’t fit the definition of a sandwich, a hot dog is delicious under two circumstances.

1. Zweigle’s “White Hots” are amazing pork hot dogs you can get in Western New York and nowhere else, and they’re awesome on or off a bun, with whatever toppings you do or don’t want on them, bun or no. Just shut up and count yourself among the most blessed of humanity that you get to partake in such divinity.
2. In New York City you can go to most streetside carts and get a boiled all-beef dog (kosher or halal) with a myriad of toppings. They’re really skinny, so get two on one bun, with chili, sauerkraut, ketchup, mustard, and onions. Shove it in your head while walking down the sidewalk in a mass of people who are fun to watch and possibly as delicious.
3. Wait, what? I didn’t say that. People are a sometimes food. No, wait, don’t eat people. That’s mean.

What if the people are already dead? Is that still mean? Asking for a cannibal. I have not had any of these mythic hot dogs you speak of, but I shall add them to my lengthy bucket list of things left to eat in the world. Also, your toppings sound ON POINT.

2.Do you listen to rad music when you write, and if so, what are your most rad favorites?

I write almost exclusively to Coheed and Cambria. The music is awesome, and the lyrics are gibberish, so they don’t distract from what I’m trying to do.

Coheed is the shit. My buddy Derek and I got to catch them live in Boston a couple summers ago, and they were stellar. They have such a power rock feel to them.

3. Do you prefer movie theaters, or watching flicks at home?

It depends entirely on the movie. Dramas, comedies, mysteries, and so forth I prefer to watch at home. If it has explosions, robot fights, superheroes, or whatnot, I generally watch them in the theater. That said, if there’s a movie I really want to see that is of the former rather than the latter category, I’ll pay to see it in the theater rather than wait.

Ahhh, so pragmatic! And sensible! 

4. What’s your Achilles heel? Lack of rest? Cheesecake? IBS?

I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. You wanna take me down? Better hope you’ve figured it out before I do!

Well I know it’s not bees, because you have those. Maybe it’s like… expensive facial creams. One day someone will bring you to a day spa, and we’ll read all about how you caught on fire there.

5. You’re renting a car, and the one you want is gone. The rental agency offers you a choice: sports car, or SUV. Which do you take and why?

In my everyday life I drive a Yaris. Cars are all about getting from point A to point B as safely as possible. That said, I’ve driven several BMWs at one time or another, and on one occasion a Ferrari. I’d take the sports care, because vroom vroom!

When you can vroom vroom… you might wanna vroom vroom! I own a minivan now, so I have to live any automotive excitement I might feel the need for through people with fast cars. People like you, with your Yaris.

6. None of us published our writing to watch it collect bad reviews and low sales, yet here we are. When you set out on your publishing journey, what was it you really wanted to accomplish?

I want to tell cool stories and have people read and like them. While I wouldn’t mind getting fantastically rich or popular, I have no illusions about how unlikely that is. From my Facebook-serialized Mike Szymanski story to the pro-pay, award-winning anthologies I’ve been a part of, to the twice-award-nominated Matt Rowley books, all I’ve ever wanted is for people to read my stuff and say, “Fuck yeah!”

Amen to this. All I ever wanted was to give myself a creative outlet, and tell a story that my friends would laugh at, or find interesting. I love this attitude.

7. Do you enjoy making art other than writing? Drawing, painting, sculpting, pudding throwing?

I play Warhammer 40K, so have kitbashed and painted many a miniature. Most of the rest of my non-writing creative energy goes into competition robotics.

You… you’re a gamer? I don’t think I knew that about you. I still own my Black Templars 40k army, though I mostly play Warmachine now. My buddy Mike picked up two starter armies for The Other Side, which is super neat. Uses cards to play instead of dice. And I LOVE the hobby aspect of miniature games! The assembly, painting, basing, all of it.

8. If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me what my favorite book was, I could retire. How many times have you been asked that same frigging question?

Too many.

So what’s your favorite book?

9. What was your first mobile phone? Was it in a bag? Was it the size of a brick? Or are you a youngin’, born into the smart phone era? Also, what’s your high score on Snake, if applicable.

I have no idea what Snake is. My first mobile phone was the size of a brick, circa 2000. I was one of the first to not have a home phone, I think.

You’re a goddamn trendsetter, Patrick. What else are you doing now, that no one else is doing that we can adopt from you? Please don’t say weird butt stuff. Please.

10. What is it about the genre you love to write in, that resonates so strongly with you? What about it made you want to sit alone, hallucinating for months on end to tell a story about people that don’t really exist?

I just like telling stories. Some are sci-fi, some are fantasy, some are horror. Most are pretty dark. I’ve never really self-analyzed why I do what I do, and I don’t know that I’m terribly inclined to. If I get bored with telling stories, I’ll probably stop. But I’m not bored yet, and don’t see that happening in the foreseeable future. Y’all keep reading, I’ll keep writing.

Preach. Write what interests you, and you’ll always be interested in writing, I guess. After that, the hope is connecting with people who are interested in what you like to write. That or just advertise a ton, and blanket the market hoping to catch people with impulse purchases.

Whatevs.

Thanks Patrick. You rock.

Up next week: Scot Thomas; broadcast journalist, tech nerd, Texas resident, future President of a Girl Scout Cookies Thin Mint fan club.

 

Patrick Freivald is a four-time Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of a half-dozen novels and dozens of short stories, a beekeeper specializing in hot pepper-infused honey, a teacher of physics, robotics, and American Sign Language, and an award-winning robotics coach. He lives in the middle of beautiful nowhere with a gorgeous redhead, three parrots, too many cats, two dogs, some chickens, and several million stinging insects. You can find his work at Patrick.Freivald.com, and delicious hot honey at www.FrogsPointHoney.com.

Check out Patrick’s books here on Amazon!