The 10D10 Interview Challenge
#3 – Stacey Longo, author
Stacey (our first person not named James, huzzah), is a New England based author who I’ve had the pleasure of meeting several times at local conventions. She’s charming, funny, brilliant, writes better than most, and in this interview, she shows you that she has a dark, dark side that revolves pretty heavily around a young version of Marlon Brando, and Richard Grieco.
Stacey is awesome. I think you’ll agree.
Stacey’s rolls for this interview were: 6, 5, 4, 8, 6, 8, 6, 4, 8, 8
Here we go;
- What’s your favorite cold beverage and why?
Iced coffee. I need a minimum of four generous servings of coffee before 9 AM to get me through the day. Otherwise I am, as my husband and friends like to say, “a raging, horrible bitch.” I think they’re exaggerating, but I still junk-punch my hubby every time he says it in case he’s being serious.
I feel like we’re kindred spirits now. The amount of times friends and family have called me a ‘raging, horrible bitch’ is legion. I knew before this interview I liked you, and this answer solidifies that.
- Apple, PC, or me? What platform do you use to write?
Apple, 100%. Once you go Mac, you never go back. All my writing is done in Word for Mac.
I have never tried writing on a mac. Been PC my whole life. Not politically correct, oh hell no. Windows based, I guess I should say.
- Do you prefer movie theaters, or watching flicks at home?
Watching movies at home. Theaters are the worst. Screaming kids, horny teenagers, and I always wind up near a farter.
Clearly, you have sat near me in a theater, at many times in my life. I’m so, so sorry.
- What’s your Achilles heel? Lack of rest? Cheesecake? IBS?
True crime podcasts. There I’ll be, typing away at the keyboard, and I’ll think, How can I authentically convey the sound of a skull being caved in? Did Ted Bundy ever describe that? Next thing you know, I have 56 episodes of True Crime Obsessed downloaded, and my afternoon is lost.
Dude, this for realsies. I go down these endless research rabbit holes where I lose entire afternoons to some random, fucking obscure thing that winds up not even making it into a book. And True Crime stuff too. I’ve read and watched so much about them, it’s unhealthy.
- Is time travel possible? Or likely? If you could travel through time, what’s one thing you’d want to do? Killing Hitler is a given, so let’s get personal and/or interesting.
Here’s where I hope my mother doesn’t read this. I’ve read several times that Marlon Brando was a magnificent lay. I’d like to find out if that was true. It will be vitally important, however, to make sure that time machine is set to young Marlon, not old Marlon.
Oh. Well. I um… didn’t expect people to go like, there… with this question. But here we are. And here you are. Laid bare for the Brando. Young Brando. You know, I heard that he and Richard Pryor were a regular thing back in the day, which totally changes how I think of Richard Pryor. Apparently he was a raging horndog.
I think this improves my opinion of Pryor. Also, I think old Brando was a nut, good lay or not.
- You’re offered a walk-on role in a favorite TV show. What character would you want to portray?
I’d like to be Jimmy McGill’s paralegal on Better Call Saul. I think that job would be a ton of fun. Plus I’d like to see Mike Ehrmantraut get all nervous and uncomfortable when I flirt with him.
That’s such a great idea! I figured most of the authors responding to this would be like, “Zombie in The Walking Dead,” or “red shirt on Star Trek,” but hey, this is super great. And the awkward flirting thing is a great theme you’ve got going on here. You couldn’t cut the sexual tension with a 4×4 right now.
- Overrated, underrated, whatever. What do you do to burn calories and maintain your rock hard abs?
There are few things in this world I hate more than exercise (maybe movie theater farters). However, I’m getting older, plus I had back surgery not long ago. So I have to exercise.
Around the time I had surgery, my husband found a free treadmill online, and grabbed it. What we failed to do is measure if it could fit through the basement doorway (the basement is where our exercise equipment collects dust). The treadmill was too wide, but not too wide to fit through the front door. I now have a giant treadmill in the middle of my living room where my couch used to be. I do a few miles a day on that.
Again, sorry about the prior movie theater proximity, but hey, good for you on the treadmill. Gotta keep that back strong in the event time travel ever gets invented. Never know how that’ll go.
- When you’re reading or listening to a book, do you like shorter chapters, or longer ones, and why? Frequent pee breaks needed, or do you have the bladder of a camel-god?
I’m fine with either as long as the writing is good and the story is entertaining. You can still pee while listening to an audiobook.
You… you can pee while listening to an audiobook? How do you hear the narrator over your screaming?
- If you could live in any setting based on a science fiction universe, what setting would that be, and why? What about it makes you want to live there?
Ha! My editing partner and I have a rule: he takes the lead editing the sci-fi stuff, because I hate it. That being said, I do have a warm fuzzy place in my heart for Star Trek. I wouldn’t mind being a non-redshirt in either the original or TNG.
Oh, here we are with the red shirt thing. Man… I thought I had that on lockdown here. Oh wait, you DON’T want to be a red shirt, nice!
I’d do TNG, for sure. If only to meet Picard, in character.
- Conventions: Awesome experiences, or plagues upon humanity? What’s something good and bad about them?
Conventions are both wonderful fun and terrible. I’ve met amazing people—both readers and Richard Grieco—at conventions, and they’re a staple now in my author life. But I’m something of an introvert, and after a couple of days talking to people nonstop, I’m wiped out. It takes me three days to recuperate before I can have a normal conversation again. But they’re fun. Even at the slowest conventions, there’s something entertaining to do: talk to other authors and debate which Spidey cosplayers stuff their tights, look up how old Ric Flair is now . . .
Also, Richard Grieco bought me coffee. I still have the cup. On a pedestal, encased in glass.
I know EXACTLY what you mean. I always have fun at the shows, seeing friends, fans, and all the people watching! Oy vey! But at the end of the 2nd day, give or take, I mostly just want to be left alone to die. It’s exhausting, and your feet hurt, and you’ve run out of money for hitmen.
And as for the Grieco thing… that’s awesome! And, we both know Ric Flair is a little run down now. Super MegaFest has shown me that.
Terrific interview Stacey! Thanks for really bringing it. I’m so glad you did this.
Up next week: The man, the myth, the chronic Crayon-eater…
MARK TUFO.
-Chris
Stacey Longo is an award-winning author and editor. Her YA mystery, My Sister the Zombie, was released in March 2018, and she is also the author of the Pushcart-nominated Ordinary Boy, a dark fiction novel, and Secret Things, a short story collection, among other titles. Most recently, she has launched the Longo Looks at . . . series of humorous chapbooks, in which she complains about holidays, getting fat, and gardening. She is a former humor columnist for the Block Island Times, and writes a weekly humor blog at www.staceylongo.com. Find her on Facebook at ww.facebook.com/staceyblongo and follow her on Twitter at @staceyblongo.
Check out one of Stacey’s books here on Amazon!